Yesterday I had an in-person conversation with Nathanael from my favorite online community. As with every first-time meet-up there was a lot to talk about.
While we exchanged parts of our back story he revealed that he was an athlete for 7 years and also did high-jumping. He even jumped higher than his physical height. That was astonishing to hear but also frustrated me in the first few minutes. Why?
Failure 20 years ago still bothering you
In primary school at the age 12, I was a small young kid of 1,48 meters, I was talented in high-jumping and sports in general. While I didn’t compete in the high heights, obviously, I competed well when it was about „difference high-jumping“: It means your body height is taken into account and the difference to how high you jump, not the total height you jump over.
The best I could do was 1,45 meters. I either failed with my feet or my ass. I failed because I didn’t have the last discipline of lifting my feet or my bum. I had several attempts. Never made it. It was sad and still today (20 years later) it still bothers me. I’m thinking of hosting (and participating on) an athletic competition for non-professional adults. Although I really like the idea it’s only that — so pretty much worth nothing. Never mind.
Having heard Nathanael’s high-jumping success story put me into an uncomfortable situation. It was envy towards him and anger towards my past self. If something that long time ago still bothers you, you want to do something about it. You want to do what you can do now and also not be dominated by this negative thought. Your past does not matter anymore. What you are doing now counts.
Especially sports is one of the most competitive and challenge places on Earth, higher, fast and further is what participants enroll in. So, know the area (of your business) where you play and learn the rules to break them and dominate your competition (if you fancy that).
Today’s challenges have nothing to do with yesterday’s failures
Yes, this person may have more energy, may have accomplished what you wanted to accomplish and is your age or even younger — as in my example. However, I am saying to you as much as I am saying to myself: Do not get frustrated or question yourself. Instead, ask „What can I learn from the person who achieved what you wanted to achieve?“ Every exchange is a place to learn from when you are ready to dig (into) it and mine the gold nuggets.
Learn to grow and flourish
If you wear the learner’s shoes you also open the door of a growth mindset (compared to a fixed mindset). Growth will catapult you into the direction of your desire. You will start wondering again and see difficult situations as challenges to overcome instead of giving up on the way. I strongly recommend to watch the video below!
Running a business, you learn something every day and you want to because when you grow your business will grow. When you flourish your business will flourish, too. If you are not there (yet) you will want to get there because the effort into the right direction will lead to the success you have in mind.
Focus on what you can accomplish today and in the future. Your past is what happened. Do not let it bother you. What happened happened. Instead, use what you have now, apply your skills with the tools and connections at your disposal and do the labor towards your well-defined goal.
You are successful (not yet)
If you did not achieve something today, do not consider it a failure. See it as something your did not achieve (yet). I learned the „not yet“ idea from the video above — as I said you should really watch it. It was eye-opening for me since I learned that almost all the years in school I was caged into a fixed mindset which is one of my big regrets so far. That’s why I keep saying to myself:
What drives me today is where I didn’t succeed in before.
If you need you ass kicked before you make a move, I welcome you. We are in the same boat. If we do not have a dragon waiting to kill us — in this cave we are in, we won’t make a swing the swords.
The legitimate question is then: What is your dragon today? And how did you cut his head or threw a swords into his heart?
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This was episode 18 of the #weekendpunchline 👊. Every Saturday and Sunday.
Also published on Medium.