One on one — you and me

I like one-on-one conversations. I really do. I prefer them over talking to a group. I am not a group-talking person. Talking to two people is fine, talking to three people also.

I am not uncomfortable talking to a group of 5 or 10. I just do not prefer doing it because I see my value not being directed, targeted and tailor-made for one person. What I am saying becomes smudgy and diluted, like orange water. But I want to provide real orange juice.

Writing and reading is a one-on-one conversation. Writing a book is the start of a 1-on-1 conversation. Writing an email? The same. One-on-one.

When I am sharing I am also sharing parts of myself. I am giving you parts of myself. I do not like giving parts of myself to many people at once. I am not a whore. I have one person I am paying attention to. One person I am enjoying to give my attention to. One person I am listening to. One person I am looking into eyes and reading what is not been spoken out loud.

When I am writing I am sharing parts of myself. The only way I would want to share my inner thoughts with other people is through writing. Writing gives me a feeling that I can share my innermost feelings in a book / blog post / email and publish it, and still have the impression and conviction that it stays private because reading is a private process and it is also a one-on-one process.

That is what I like about writing and reading: When I write something and publish it, I am writing it for one pairs of eyes, to one person: you. It is a direct conversation, from one person to another. No third person, no third party. Only two people having a remote and asynchronous conversation. Steven King calls it telepathy — I agree.

If you are having problems writing a book, you may have a problem with writing an email because a book is a like a long-form email. It is really just that. One-on-one and 100 % dedicated to one person, at least that is how you feel when you read an email that has your email address as the recipient or when it is a book and it is you who holds it in your hands or your extended self (your Kindle) 😉

Writing is about privacy and intimacy. That is why publishing a book is such a delicate process. You share your truest you with the world (even in a fictitious story), you are going public with your private intimacy, yet only those who read it will enter this (thought) space of yours. That makes a written publication an open secret. Only those who read it, will understand it — skimmers not included. I am referring to people dealing with a text on an intellectual and emotional level. No quick in and out. When you read, read like a Greek. (Rhyme intended)

Also published on Medium.

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